Alongside her three Grammys, 12 Latin Grammys, five American Music Awards and the 351 other odd accolades Shakira has earned through the years, it seems the “Hips Don’t Lie” singer has added a new superlative to her trophy case: the title of Sleuth of the Century (suck it, Benoit Blanc).
Days after the singer released her record-breaking YouTube banger with producer Bizarrap, the concisely titled “Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53,” more details have emerged surrounding the “Beautiful Liar” songstress’ split from her longtime partner, soccer star Gerard Piqué, after he was purportedly caught cheating with his 23-year-old now girlfriend, Clara Chia Marti.
Shakira deduced Piqué was cheating on her after she returned from traveling to find that her strawberry jam was eaten.
— Pop Tingz (@ThePopTingz) January 17, 2023
Piqué has never eaten jam in his life. pic.twitter.com/2OpKhkP7ih
Instead of the typical means of uncovering cheaters, seeing Tinder notifications on your partner’s phone, finding unfamiliar hair extensions in your boyfriend’s car, or receiving a long, Shakesperian-esque letter detailing how your man “put his head between a cocktail waitress's breasts,” if you’re Sammi “Sweetheart” Giancola from Jersey Shore, it seems a jar of strawberry jam tipped Shakira off to her two-timing husband.
Shakira setting up a witch mannequin on her balcony, to face her ex mother-in-law’s house, while blasting her Gerard Pique diss track at at full volume is the petty standard we should all aspire to in 2023 pic.twitter.com/l42HRARft1
— ItsLitGayShit (@itslitgayshitt) January 14, 2023
I cannot imagine being the other woman eating jam in shakira’s home
— JP (@jpbrammer) January 17, 2023
Beyond her lyrics slamming her “rookie” husband for leaving her with “your mom as a neighbor,” “a debt with the Treasury” and being an overall imbecile (“So much time at the gym, but maybe work out your brain a bit too”).
Shakira allegedly realized that Pique was unfaithful upon returning home from a business trip to discover that her jar of jam was suspiciously emptier than at the time of her departure, according to widespread internet rumors — ones that may have stemmed from the Spanish-language television show Socialite, per Jezebel.
@392_wera Not in my kitchen #shakira #pique #infiel #fyp #trending #checkyourfood #food #cheater ? Shakira: Bzrp Music Sessions, Vol. 53 - Bizarrap & Shakira
Considering she had been away, her children weren’t fans of the spread and that jam was not her husband’s jam — it takes a *real* man to appreciate the delicate sweetness of high-end fruit preserves — she deduced that the thief in question must be a mistress, a hunch that was ultimately proven correct, and pounced on for internet fodder.
Alongside speculating that Shakira referenced jam-gate — a discovery that would inevitably bring a tear of pride to Nancy Drew’s fictional eyes — in her music video for her collaboration “Te Felicito,” which featured artist Rauw Alejandro’s severed head inside an open refrigerator, the singer explaining she opened the door to “find the truth,” fans questioned the *real* meaning of her “She Wolf” music video…
Shakira inside the jam jar investigating how much was missing pic.twitter.com/fUGouZEgm2
— AND IM VICTORIA MALCOLM (@fagfetchd) January 17, 2023
…the alleged mistress’ manners…
nah she really went into shakira’s home, fucked her man, then raided her fridge?? that’s malicious https://t.co/vyr4IKYIgN
— uma thurman (@ariesgh0st) January 17, 2023
“Now we all are aware that her hips don’t lie, and clearly … neither does the jam.” https://t.co/rtlcYsK7yM pic.twitter.com/QjjQIV6LI9
— Oluwajomiloju (@JomiAdeniran) January 18, 2023
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