Just because you’re a red-blooded American with the right to bring your gun with you wherever and whenever you goddamn please, that doesn’t mean you should bring your gun with you wherever and whenever you goddamn please, a discovery one Wisconsin woman mad the hard way after getting shot in the ass during an MRI.



According to a recent report from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, a 57-year-old woman faced a very Dick Cheney-ian fate last June after sneaking a weapon into an MRI screening. Despite allegedly saying “no” when asked if she had any weapons on her, the woman persisted, a decision that proved to be a — very literal — pain in the ass.


“It was reported that a patient was brought into the magnet room with a concealed ferrous handgun,” read the report on the incident. “In the process of entering the bore, the handgun was attracted to the magnet and fired a single round. The patient received a gunshot wound in the right buttock area.”



So take it from this only slightly injured woman: The only thing that can stop a bad or good guy with a gun is an MRI machine.