When influencer Jess Jacobsen recently sat down to take a dump, little did she know she’d also wind up dumping her boyfriend, revealing she had ended her relationship after her now-ex-beau insisted upon leaving her stranded in the bathroom after they ran out of toilet paper.

“I’m breaking up with the guy I’m dating because of what he did to me when I was on the toilet the other day,” Jacobsen — better known by her TikTok username @oohhjesss — began her now-viral tale. “So I’m at his house, I sit down and I take a poop, right? I go to wipe, there’s no toilet paper.”

@oohhjesss

I will never get over this

♬ original sound - Jess Jacobsen

Though Jacobsen proceeded to politely ask her S.O. to grab her a new roll, her man couldn’t be bothered to follow the Seinfeldian proverb of sparing a square.

“He said ‘no. I already told you that bathroom’s out of toilet paper,’” she recalled of his reply.

Despite asking again, Jacobsen’s man was hellbent on teaching her a lesson about remembering which bathrooms are out of TP, yet again refusing to help his poopy-butt-ed girlfriend.

“‘No, I already told you. You’re going to have to figure it out,’” he allegedly fired back.

After offering her an unconventional — and inadvertently UTI-inducing solution — of using a bath towel if she had only peed, Jacobsen’s partner began ignoring her, attempting to drown out her cries for help with his TikTok feed. 

“What the f—,” he purportedly told her moments before hurling a roll at her head. “You’re so f—ing dramatic.”

We can only hope that karma will come for this man’s a—.