My baptism consisted of me, a baby, crying while a priest sprayed me with liquid. I didn’t really like it—but, knowing the things that some priests do to kids, I would rate the experience “not bad.” However, some people are pretty jazzed to be baptized. For example, this woman takes her baptism like a shot of espresso, rocketing up from the water ripe and ready for a concert from whatever horrible version of Metallica Christianity has. Praise be!